Over it.

Have you ever felt like everyone comes to you with problems and complaints about life but the minute you open your mouth you're being "negative" and bringing everyone down? What the fuck is that? Bull shit is what it is. I'm just so over Utah. I feel like I don't realllllyyy have anyone here. The minute I think I have friends poof...I'm replaced by someone better...it's such crap. I try to be part of a trio and the other two start hanging out all the time and i'm left out. I can't find a "best friend" here...it's basically worthless. I have like one friend here who I know that even though I hardly ever see her (we've sucked at these monthly dinners BTW) but I know Mandi would always be there if I needed her...and she's basically the only one I feel that way with. I just feel like I'm done here...my job sucks...my "friends" suck....and I just want to be some where where people are calling me to hang out..or texting me...or anything. God, it doesn't look like shit is getting better in WA either...only 4 people have RSVP'd to my bday party...really?! Wow, that goes to show that all the people that are like "i can't wait until you come back" are just full of it. Why did I even bother planning something?! UGH. I'm so sick of it. I'm really contemplating seeing someone about this....I can't feel like this and it be okay...like, someone who I can talk to who has to listen lol.

UGH. There are probably 2 people who read this lol so sorry Mandi and Lisa for venting and you two having to read it lol.

I'm just over life right now...I want things to be easier. I want to be DONE at starbucks and have a job where people appreciate me....co-workers...boss....and customers alike. I shouldn't go to work in a great mood and leave in a bad one...not THIS often. Maybe 12 days off is just what I need...hopefully. Then I can make it through July and get another month off...then I'll come back after the wedding and get the hell out of dodge....DONE with Starbucks.

Anyways-I'll be home in 5 days...thank god.